Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
