i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
