Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
