Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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