Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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