i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
