is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
