Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize