if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
