Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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