Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
