She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
