it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
