Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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