i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
