i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
