he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
