i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
