tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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