tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
