Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
