pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
