you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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