So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
