I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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