I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
