i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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