Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
