It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
