her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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