I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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