When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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