You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
