Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
