Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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