I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize