she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
