you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
