So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
