i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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