I think im going to throw up on grandma
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Randomize
