My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
