I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm really busy with my period
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