she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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