the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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