quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just gargled with NyQuil
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
