According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
