Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
