I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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