Is it normal to miss your booty call?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
