i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
