Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
