I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize