i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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