my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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