first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
