I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
