I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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