My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You were trust falling into bushes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
