Do vagina's smell?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
