Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
