I puked a lego.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
