hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
