god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
